The road to Tyson, Part 5

I had no idea this story was this long, but I guess that's why it's a journey!

So we had been praying about what to do. It was early/mid November, and we just needed a break through. We were scared and nervous. On one hand, we felt like if we had doubts about his small stature and measurements, we should not adopt Li Chen. But on the otherhand, that's what sn international adoption is. There will always be doubts no matter what. More information usually means you have more questions! The door wasn't closing all the way. But at last, Dan said he truly felt we shouldn't move forward, and I cried and cried, knowing that if we weren't both on board 100%, we shouldn't move forward.

So I woke up the next morning and I was checking my email. I get a verse of the day, and here's the verse I read:

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

This verse is in response to God chosing David to be the next King of Israel. The Lord doesn't see people as man does. David wasn't the biggest or strongest--God rejected those. God looked at David's heart. At that moment, I knew Li Chen, our Tyson, was meant to be ours. I called out to Dan to read the verse. When we soaked in the context of the verse, we both had tears. We knew that this is bigger than us. Maybe it's not so much us choosing Tyson, but God choosing us for Tyson. We could have a child with perfect measurements, but that child may not be meant for us. I believe God made us go through all of this to see if we could really trust Him. And when we were about to give in, God clearly spoke to us and answered our prayer.

I got to school that morning, and my told my good friend and teaching partner Lori about how God finally made it clear to us. She asked, "What time?" As it turned out, at the same time as this was happening, Lori and our pastor's wife were praying for us and our adoption! Lori has been with me on this journey everyday, and without her, I am not sure how I would have coped on a day to day basis.

So, there were still moments of thinking...we're really doing this?! Wow! I still didn't make a big deal about it in the adoption community, but slowly I began to blog and be part of the sn adoption community. It took me a long time to feel safe, but my prayer was answered. God made it abundantly clear, we are supposed to adopt this little boy.

Am I still nervous? Yes, who wouldn't be! I'm traveling across an ocean to a place I've never been to adopt a boy who needs a cleft palate surgery. Well, I guess when I put it like that, it's scary. But really, I'm excited beyond belief. I am going to be a mom, Dan is going to be a dad, and K-Bear is going to be a big sister!

So that is my story of how we came to the decision to adopt Tyson. I hope it helps someone out there. Obviously, I don't know how this is all going to turn out, but as I wait for TA, I can tell you that God has stretched my faith into places I didn't know existed. He has reshaped my heart, and all I can do is give God the glory.

Now, let's get Tyson home! My prayer is for a TA this week so we can be home before the end of August with Ty. Can you pray for us too? I know so many of you are. I am truly blessed to have everyone reading this in my life and following our adoption journey as we travel to Tyson!