I should be happy...Day 99.

I should be shouting it from the rooftops, but instead, I'm horrified to even say it.

My LOA/LOC is ready to be issued. I should be happy, elated, screaming! I should be jumping around like a crazy person. Instead, I want to crawl in a hole and cry. My agency contacted CCAA last night to find out about all of the rumors that CCAA is closing due to Swine Flu, so they asked about my LOA too. I have been so afraid it was in the wrong department. I was told today that yes, it is being processed and will be issued when CCAA is again sending out approvals.

Did you read that? My agency said that CCAA is not sending out LOCs/LOAs, TAs, or anything else at this time. And tomorrow is a holiday in China. Basically, China is strongly recommending that no one travel at this time. That I understand, but I don't understand why they are stopping all regular paperwork. That is ridiculous! So instead of it being sent out this week and getting it next week, I am guessing that I am looking at a MINIMUM of 2 more weeks until I get LOC. That means Mid may, which means August travel! UGH!!!

My poor little boy...I am so sorry...

Day 97 and losing it!

If LOC doesn't come, I may go crazy from lack of sleep. When I finally do fall asleep, I have the weirdest dreams and I wake up on and off. Then morning comes, and I can't get up from being so tired. Stress headaches are happening a lot. Please Please Please God, let LOC come today!

Sleepless Saturday Day 94

Kacie had a sleepover, so they are sacked out in the living room. I woke up with yet another migraine, so the coffee is on as we speak. Busy days around here. I had to get more passport photos of Kacie for her visa because I have no idea where the orignals are. Not a big deal, just more running around for us. She had a game again last night and got 2 hits! They only play 2 innings, and everyone bats. They use a pitching machine, and they get 5 strikes. On her last at bat, she had 4 strikes, and I was so nervous, then she hit the ball and it rolled out to the grass! She also got to be pitcher AND catcher last night. I told her that's the most action she'll see all year--LOL! Other than 1st base, those are the busiest places to be on the field.

So after the game I asked her if she was nervous when she didn't have a hit after 4 strikes. She said, "No, I just prayed to God in my head that I'd hit the ball!" Dan and I were very proud of her for that. It is nice to hear her say she is praying on her own, even if it is just to hit a ball! We know she prays a lot. We have another game at 5:00 tonight, but it's looking gray outside...we shall see if the rain sprinkles or pours!

Here in the NW there are many words for rain: drizzle, sprinkle, light rain, heavy rain...it's 6:45 am, and I can't think of any more, but you get the idea. I grew up in a temperate rainforest. You don't just say, "It's raining." That has too many meanings! Sometimes you just say, "It has rained three inches today," and that is enough said!

Well, have a great day everyone! Good bless, and if you didn't read the blog below, you should! Tyson is growing!

Edited: 5 hours later, Kacie and her friend went outside as precipitation fell from the sky. I said, "Kacie, it's raining! Get a jacket with a hood on!" Kacie's response: "Mom, it's not raining, it's only sprinkling!" See???? There is a continuum of words for rain here!

A Tyson Update! Day 91

I got a measurement update on Tyson, and he is growing! I'm not sure if I've ever blogged the entire story of our decision to adopt, and maybe I will, and maybe I won't, but for now, believe me when I say I am THRILLED that I can plot his measurements on a CDC growth chart (US) between the 3rd and 5th %iles!!! I haven't been able to say that, so this is just incredible.

He is 22 months old exactly today!
Height: 31.5 inches (80cm)
Weight: 23 pounds (10.5 kg)
Head Cir: 18.1 inches (46 cm)

Also, he likes to drink milk and sweet juice, and likes to eat anything sweet, and his favorite toys are ones that he can push or pull. He will fit in with us nicely!

I sent him a care package through redthreadchina.org. The lady's name is Ann, and she is so sweet! Above is the care package I sent, and you gotta love the cars shirt and toys to go with his bedroom theme!

I did not blog yesterday about being at day 90, but I have to say, I am at peace that we do not have LOA/LOC. Now I can say that it should happen any day, and my agency is starting to get me ready for travel with paperwork, so it's an exciting time!

Thank you for all of your support and prayers. God is fulfilling his promise of taking good care of our little guy until we can get there and bring him home.

Kacie's first game of the year

I almost forgot! It's baseball season, and Kacie has moved up to pitching machine. Being a late June birthday, we kept her in T-ball an extra year last year. They get 5 strikes, which is nice, but boy an inning is looooooong! She was up twice yesterday and had two hits! I am so thankful for baseball season, it keeps my busy to forget this wait for a few moments of the day. She plays for the "Angels", and what little Angels they are! She is still in swimming twice a week too.

New I-800A arrived!

We are 88 days into waiting for LOA. But the real news is that the new and improved (and should have read that way to begin with) I-800A arrived in the mail yesterday. Not a big deal, but just a relief that it's in my hands. Tomorrow I'll fax it to the agency.

Today is a beautiful day, and we are all going to church together, then coming home to a big yard work day. Usually we've done our big spring kick off yard day by now, but we still had freezing weather last week, and snow keeps coming off and on. I am very rookie by any standards when it comes to flowers, but I learn a little more each year.

Enjoy your weekend, and thanks for reading! Keep the prayers for Tyson coming. Thank you.

PS: Thank you for ALL of the comments! I appreciate the support and I read each one and value them all!

Day 84....no news

I saw LOTS of LOAs today on RQ, and I wish so much I could join the fun! It is heartbreaking that Tyson will be at his orphanage only that much longer. I know God has a plan.

Praying is hard. I have to allow God's will to be done, so I just pray that God is covering and nourishing my baby! This morning I felt like I was screaming in my prayers, crying out to God to help me through this. I know that I am being molded in this process and my heart is being prepared.

I am much better this week than I was two weeks ago when LOAs came. It's still hard, but I'm OK. Hopefully the new I-800A approval will be here in the mail tomorrow! Any news is good!

Getting a NEW I-800A approval!

Wow, nothing in this adoption has gone this fast. Evidently the good people at USCIS are issuing us a new I-800A approval with special needs category and 0-3 years with no fee since they did have the home study update but didn't use it when giving our first approval. Thank you to all who have prayed for this situation. The new I-800A approval happened today, and we should get it in the mail at the end of the week.

Now, I can back to the business of waiting for that LOC. Day 82 today!

Day 80 and a lot of memories

Top: Here is a picture of Tyson's room, and now most of what is in the other two pictures is now filling his room and a corner of my living room. UGH! Yes, we went with a small (and cheap!) toddler bed, thinking that as soon as he's tall enough, he can have Kacie's twin bed and we will buy Kacie a double bed. I remember when Kacie went to her big girl bed, and I was so afraid she'd fall out, even at 2.5 years old.

Pics 2 and 3: Here is what my house looked like after bringing in all the stuff from the garage.

Today we had no plans AND Dan and I were both home (that happens twice a year!) We decided to clean out some shelves the rafters in the garage of Kacie's baby stuff--clothes, blankets, chairs of all kinds, you name it. I sorted it to see what we can keep for Tyson and what will go into a garage sale that Dan's mom is going to coordinate to help us earn spending $$ for China. To say it was an emotional day is an understatement: I cried twice and even a little as I type. Certain outfits, certain toys, so many memories. Kacie will be 8 in June. For those who don't know, she was a premie. she was only 5 weeks early, but she did have respiratory distress and was in the NICU at Tacoma General for 3 weeks. She stopped breathing once. So yes, lots of memories and emotions. I can't look at her walker and not think about how she had chicken pox at 11 months old, and it was the best two days I ever stayed home with her. She didn't know anything was wrong, so she was happy and cruisin' in her walker to children's music all day long in just a diaper.

Although the spring cleaning had to happen because of the adoption, today was really about Kacie. The Lord has blessed us with a beautiful, caring daughter. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. And now we wait for her brother to join us and complete our family.

Happy Easter Everyone!

More on the I-800A

My agency is awesome. I lead a very busy crazy life (like we all do) and I read about agencies who basically make the clients do everything. Well, my agency emailed USCIS, and they are pulling my file and will review it early next week to see why the I-800A approval was wrong. It's one less thing to worry about...well, I'm worried of course, but it's nice to have someone going to bat for me, and if they will fix it, I may not have to pay the $340! Nice!

As a side note, last year on Good Friday was the first day I met with my agency and we offically decided to adopt. Good Friday was on March 21st last year, but never the less, it brings back those memories of how excited we were to add to our family through adoption.

To be continued next week! Meanwhile, it's day 79 today waiting for LOC/LOA. My agency just says that LOCs take 4-5 months if matched before LID. Of course I hope they are wrong!

The REVENGE of the I-800A!

If you are Hague family or in the adoption community, you know this isn't good. Really...it's an annoyance that can be fixed, but still, very annoying. Long story short.

We started out nsn but quickly switched to sn. We did a hs update and sent it to NBC in November. When we got the I-800A approval, it approved us for healthy 0-18 months! WRONG! But, our agency didn't think it would be a problem since we would file I-800 after LOC. So we went ahead and got our LID. China just wants an approval. But the US wants it exact.

So fast foward to a few weeks ago when I was working on the I-800 just to get it ready for when LOC came, I started getting that "something isn't right" feeling. Maybe it was God tapping me on the shoulder. So I emailed my agency, and guess what? It is a problem.

So, the agency said I had to file Supplement A of I-800A and pay another $340 to US Dept of Homeland Security. However, I know that it was the fault of USCIS/NBC, and we have documentation to show that they had the homestudy update and didn't look at it. Over the phone I was even told that they actually put it with another family's file with teh same last name, but when I called the put it with mine! So hopefully, NBC will make things right without filing supplement A and $340.... and in the meantime today is Day 78, but my agency still feels we are very far from LOC. I guess I have this issue to distract me a bit.

To be continued...

Day 73, spring break, beeps, and other info.

After such a depressing start to the week (happy for others of course!), my husband and I decided to get away for a night on Thursday to celebrate our anniversary. Today is our 11 year anniversary, but he had to work, so we settled for celebrating early. I came home to see more LOAs, and not one is mine. I did finish the paperwork so that when LOC does come, it can be mailed off immediately. That is one piece of advice I've been given several times, so that feels good to have done. Thanks for the advice! So it has been an uneventful spring break, but I've worked on Tyson's room, and hopefully we'll get LOC soon to fill that room with a little guy! In the meantime, I'm trying not to get my hopes up for anything this month, but it's hard.

All of the beeping: I am also excited to have a new cell phone! It takes beautiful pictures, so hopefully I can post more often with pictures. I did not get the web browser , but I did get the email option. I can't believe the difference a nice phone makes, but so many beeps! We also got a home security system installed on Tuesday. Ugh! I'll grow to like it...especially when Dan works nights. But if you don't turn off the chime, you hear, "beep beep beep, front door open" everytime you open a door, and with 4 doors and as much as we go in and out, it's annoying. I did figure out how to turn it off.

Thanks for the comments, it really helps get through the wait. It's sad that Tyson has to spend so much more time in the orphanage, when we are ready now! Hindsight is 20/20, and there are so many things I'd do differently. But, I would keep my agency! They are the best. They are Faith International Adoptions from Tacoma, WA. It is a small agency, which could be the reason for the longer wait, but I'd rather have an agency with personal attention than a large one that doesn't know my name. And who knows if there's any truth to that either regarding wait times for LOA/LOC. If anyone would like information on my journey or my experience with my agency, feel free to leave a comment, and I will get you my email. I am happy to help, and it makes this wait feel like it's for a purpose!

As for my faith, I know this is all happening for a reason. I've been reading I Samuel, and earlier in the week I was really identifying with how the people of Israel wanted a King like the other nations and took their eyes off of God. I feel like I did that earlier in the week, and yesterday. I must stop comparing my situation to others and remember to keep my eyes on the Lord, for He is in control.

Have a great week everyone!

Nevermind, not today...

So I just learned that I shouldn't expect LOC for at least another 1.5-2.5 months. Not sure why my wait is so different from everyone elses, but it is what it is. I probably won't post for awhile...I need a mental break from all of this.

Could today be the day?

OK, my prediction might be for nothing...maybe. I'm not getting my hopes up too much, but on the RQ charts, people with LOIs/LIDs like mine are getting their LOAs/LOCs both yesterday and today! Since we are west coast, we will wait til the end of the day and see.

Please pray for some news to get us one step closer to our Tyson! Thank you!

Day 67 and a prediction

Day 67, and it's a beautiful one! Last night we experienced "Monsters vs. Aliens" at I-MAX in 3-D. It was awesome, but I only mention it because there was SNOW on the road! Now today, we have clear blue skies and milder temps.

I won't lie, it's been a rough weekend in terms of the wait. No new info, and with the LOAs of last week, I am doubting we'll see much over the next few weeks. So, I'm going out on a limb...no, more like a giant branch, and I'll make a prediction: LOA/LOC will arrive on Tuesday, April 21st. Why that day you ask? Well, ironically that will be exactly day 90. Also, 21 seems to be the lucky number for us. March 21, 2008 we officially decided and began the process. January 21, 2009 is our Log in Date. So, if I'm predicting, I might as well be realistic AND make it meaningful at the same time. Now of course, I hope I am wrong and it comes sooner, but no later!

The nicest moms ever!

Today was amazing, and someday these moms will read this and be reminded of how truly amazing and wonderful they are!

I teach sixth grade, and in my school sixth grade is still in the elementary. So I have 29 sixth graders, basically all day everyday. I teach all day, then run princess Kacie to swimming, baseball, or whatever activity she is in. We do homework, I clean up after my dogs, I try to find SOMETHING clean to wear the following day. Wearing make up has become the exception, not the rule. My husband and I try to figure out dinner somewhere in there. There is something every Saturday, and Sundays are for church and correcting papers. Cleaning happens somewhere in there too. So yes, I am the typical, average working mom. Time to myself? Yeah, like that's going to happen.

But...these very nice moms actually did something that I didn't think was possible. They CREATED TIME! Yes, they did! I reached out via email about a month ago and said, "I really want my class to have a party, but with report cards, conferences, family life, adoption, etc... I just don't have time to plan it. Would someone be willing to do this for the kids? They deserve it." So the last thing I heard was, "Don't worry, we'll handle it." So it was planned for the afternoon before spring break as a make up of our Christmas party that was canceled due to snow.

So after lunch I brought the kids up to the room, and there were the moms, all ready to go. So I was thinking I'd jump in a little and play some games, eat some ice cream, etc... Oh no, I was TOLD that I would be leaving for the day. One of the moms is also a substitute teacher and they would handle it. So I said, "Great!" and I started packing my papers up from the morning's reading test to go correct in the staff room. Then I was TOLD again, "No, you are LEAVING. Get your purse." It took me quite awhile to really get this. Long story short, my parents arranged for me to have a pedicure, manicure, and coffee from St*rbucks and to just have a relaxing afternoon. I am still in shock. It was amazing, and I still can't believe it. So while these nice moms handled my 29, I sat and relaxed. It was incredible! They created TIME for ME! It was the best gift ever, and I am truly grateful.

So if you are one of those moms who someday get to read this, THANK YOU for giving me such a great day, and thank you to my principal for helping make it happen. Wow...just wow...

21 months old and Day 60

I just realized that today Tyson is 1 year, 9 months old. We found him in September and had hoped to be traveling in April or May. Now we'll be lucky to travel by the end of June.

We could be 2/3 of the way to LOC. As I am now telling people, we could get LOC any day in the next two months. Let's hope sooner than later!

Stay at home Saturday--Day 59

Since I'm home, here's the Saturday report. Absolutely nothing new on the adoption front. No LOAs/LOCs/LOSCs last week to hear or speak of. Please be praying for those who have been waiting longer than us. Tomorrow is day 60 for us, the average is 90 from what I can gather.

My little monkey aka Kacie has had a fever since Tuesday. Wednesday was the worst of it spiking at 103, and she seems to have a stomach bug with it. She finally ate something yesterday, and had a bowl of cereal today. Now, I have this little monkey who climbs counters, slides across the kitchen floor, talks non-stop, and has a temp of right around 99.5 to 101. 5. She has a bundle of energy all the time, and so this home-bound stuff isn't boding well with her. Tylenol brings it down, so I'm not overly concerned, but after missing so much school last week, I'd really like her to be well enough for church tomorrow and school on Monday. We shall see!

The Green Nails

Before I take the color off, I can't imagine not sharing this look with the world! This is soooooo not me or my personality...but I don't know...maybe it should be? It sure has been a fun conversation piece. Sorry the picture is blurred, but you get the idea.

For such a time as this, we are chosen

Lately I've pouted about this wait time, "If we had been 6 months earlier (before Hague) or 6 months later (after everyone figured out how to deal with Hague) things would be clearer." I've asked, "Why God? Why does this wait have to be so long? Why me, and most importantly, why MY SON?" And today I feel the Lord's answer...

For such a time as this, my child, you were chosen, and your son who is also mine, was chosen. The timing is perfect for you.

So then the Lord opened my eyes to realize that it isn't just me! It's all of us parents who are waiting, whether it's in the nsn or sn line. Our own births were ordained by God in His time, and we were chosen to adopt our children at this time. I like to think that God chose us to adopt at this time because he knew that it would require parents with either a lot of patience or those of us who need to learn to wait with patience; or for whatever reason. I am not alone, and I was chosen!

I don't understand this, as I read more about how the time in an orphanage impacts our children in so many negative ways. Back in December God told me that He has this under control. I'm here and ready, but God says, "Not yet."

And so it goes, more waiting...and I continue to learn what it truly means to "Let go and let God." All I know is that the pain I feel is nothing compared to what God went through having His son die for us. So yes, I will wait, knowing the Lord's timing is perfect, for such a time as this.