Parenting a two year old...wow!

Don't read this if you're a permissive parent! You won't like it.

Up until Monday, I was parenting a child who was recently adopted. I put up with the tantrums, attributing them to grieving, anxiety, etc... I had begun to set some boundries, but not consistently. I picked him up when he cried, let him eat way too much, etc... but I realized I am creating a monster. While I needed to parent this way in order to build trust and bonding, I can't continue this. As much as we've bent over backward to fit into Tyson's world, it's time for him to bend our way a little.

Those of you who know Ty know that he is smart. Darn smart. A friend of mine told me that Ty is going to take advantage of every inconsistency, and you know, she's right.

So on Monday, I began parenting a two year old, and it was not easy. Boundaries are never easy. But most people are impressed that I do have him sleeping in a toddler bed. My response to that is that no, it was not easy, and it still isn't easy putting him to sleep all the time, but it is the way it is. He adapts. He sleeps through the night, and if he does wait, it's a quick 15 min to get him back to sleep. So he will learn to adapt to our boundaries, and here's why: if he doesn't, his mom will go crazy, and maybe his daycare won't take him.

I haven't decided on a daycare yet. It's still up in the air, as there are pros and cons to the two I am considering. I know that daycares deal with kids who have anxiety about parental separation, but are those daycares ready for Ty, who won't let me sweep the floor without flopping on the floor screaming, only to break out in a smile the moment I walk over to him or pick him up?? Will they take him? Is he going to scream all day? I also know that he is actually crying for boundaries...it's another story, but I've seen it. He wants to know what is acceptable and what isn't.

I never know what behavior I'm seeing. Is the behavior due to adoption or just being 2 years old? I spoke with two friends this morning, both who have kids in school. I have noticed that Ty is most needy and upset when Kacie leaves for school and Dan is at work. When we are all home, he's happy. Otherwise, he is on my heels or wants held all the time. I thought it was adoption behavior, but come to find out, my friends' kids do this too! Their husbands go to work, and their older kids go to school, and the younger ones cling to their mamas. I'm not going to say that the adoption isn't part of it, I'd be remiss if I did. But it is reassuring to know that Tyson is doing what other kids do too. This SAHM gig is new to me too, in addition to having an older child who goes off to school leaving the younger one home.

We'll get through it, by the grace of God, we'll be OK.