I am hoping and praying that after tomorrow, Tyson's hearing will improve, as well as his speech. Most importantly, he will be quieter! He is so loud he is actually straining his vocal cords.
We have to be in Seattle at 6:45. Yes, we will have to leave by 4:15am. Why am I still awake? Who knows...
I will post when we get home, but I am predicting an uneventful surgery.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
RIP Rocky, We will miss you
Yesterday our beloved pug Rocky died suddenly. He was being his normal self, eating drinking, barking, walking...our daughter went out to ride her bike and he was prancing around the yard like normal...then 5 minutes later Dan saw him laying in front of our front window, lifeless. That quick, gone about 4:30 yesterday.
This is when had him only a few months, and my mom got her Boston Terrier Sadie. They were only 7 months apart in age.
A few years ago, I am guessing Christmastime 07, playing with Kacie and our lab Koby.
Out in the snow a few years ago.
I don't swear often, but damn it, this if not fair! I love him so much and I'm going to miss him more than most will ever understand.
Needless to say, we are all a mess--except Tyson who has no clue what happened. Our guess is a heart condition because there's just no other reason. He was only 4.5 years old. He's going to be very missed.
This is when had him only a few months, and my mom got her Boston Terrier Sadie. They were only 7 months apart in age.
A few years ago, I am guessing Christmastime 07, playing with Kacie and our lab Koby.
Out in the snow a few years ago.
I don't swear often, but damn it, this if not fair! I love him so much and I'm going to miss him more than most will ever understand.
Needless to say, we are all a mess--except Tyson who has no clue what happened. Our guess is a heart condition because there's just no other reason. He was only 4.5 years old. He's going to be very missed.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Do I treat them differently?
The one question I am never asked, and I'm shocked: Do you love them the same amount?
I thought that I would be asked that. I never have. But I am constantly shocked at how people try to compare Ty to other kids his age. A discussion came up on RQ. Someone asked, "Do you treat your bio and adopted kids the same or differently?" Well, it comes down to this:
Kacie was born to us, raised by us, bonded and attached to only us.
Tyson was born in China and was raised by his parents for two months (we assume). He was abandoned, found, and taken to an orphanage to spend the next two years of his life. It is possible that he bonded with his biological parents and his care givers at the orphanage. Then at age 26 months, these strange Americans come to China and bring him "home", a place he's never been, people, sights and sounds he's never seen or heard, a language he can't speak or understand.
Now you tell me...how can I NOT treat them differently?
With Kacie, we have sheltered her. She has always believed that the world is a good place, and she has never had a care in the world. On the other hand, Tyson has many reasons to believe the world is a scary place. The obstacles he's had to deal with and overcome would make most people give up.
There are many things Tyson does that are typically toddler like "No!" and "Mine!". But what some people fail to realize is that he anything but typical. How many people have a start to life like he had, plus a cleft lip and palate on top of that? Not only is that atypical, I think it's amazing.
Are we bonded? Yes. Attached? Not yet. Just last night, Ty had nightmares again. You could say, "Well, even biologically raised kids have nightmares." Yes, true. But I would turn around and say, "But I'm sure that the nightmares my son has run deep from being taken from trusted caregivers not once, but twice." Plus, I don't even want to think of what life in an orphanage was like. Sure, when he's older maybe he won't remember, but those early experiences stay with a person for life.
When I catch myself getting frustrated with him, the fact his speech has plateaued, he still doesn't know his colors, he throws things and hits...I just remember where he came from, and how far he's come, both literally and figuratively.
Some days I think it's more than I can handle. And then I think of Tyson and all the children waiting for families. That's when I remember, I can do this! This has become one of my favorite quotes:
"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it, but I'm afraid God would ask me the same question."
-Anonymous
So do I treat my children differently? Absolutely. But is my love for them the same? YES! Of course they are different people, but I don't love Ty more because he's adopted or Kacie more because she's biological. They are my children, and my love is unconditional for them both.
I thought that I would be asked that. I never have. But I am constantly shocked at how people try to compare Ty to other kids his age. A discussion came up on RQ. Someone asked, "Do you treat your bio and adopted kids the same or differently?" Well, it comes down to this:
Kacie was born to us, raised by us, bonded and attached to only us.
Tyson was born in China and was raised by his parents for two months (we assume). He was abandoned, found, and taken to an orphanage to spend the next two years of his life. It is possible that he bonded with his biological parents and his care givers at the orphanage. Then at age 26 months, these strange Americans come to China and bring him "home", a place he's never been, people, sights and sounds he's never seen or heard, a language he can't speak or understand.
Now you tell me...how can I NOT treat them differently?
With Kacie, we have sheltered her. She has always believed that the world is a good place, and she has never had a care in the world. On the other hand, Tyson has many reasons to believe the world is a scary place. The obstacles he's had to deal with and overcome would make most people give up.
There are many things Tyson does that are typically toddler like "No!" and "Mine!". But what some people fail to realize is that he anything but typical. How many people have a start to life like he had, plus a cleft lip and palate on top of that? Not only is that atypical, I think it's amazing.
Are we bonded? Yes. Attached? Not yet. Just last night, Ty had nightmares again. You could say, "Well, even biologically raised kids have nightmares." Yes, true. But I would turn around and say, "But I'm sure that the nightmares my son has run deep from being taken from trusted caregivers not once, but twice." Plus, I don't even want to think of what life in an orphanage was like. Sure, when he's older maybe he won't remember, but those early experiences stay with a person for life.
When I catch myself getting frustrated with him, the fact his speech has plateaued, he still doesn't know his colors, he throws things and hits...I just remember where he came from, and how far he's come, both literally and figuratively.
Some days I think it's more than I can handle. And then I think of Tyson and all the children waiting for families. That's when I remember, I can do this! This has become one of my favorite quotes:
"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it, but I'm afraid God would ask me the same question."
-Anonymous
So do I treat my children differently? Absolutely. But is my love for them the same? YES! Of course they are different people, but I don't love Ty more because he's adopted or Kacie more because she's biological. They are my children, and my love is unconditional for them both.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Any cleft parents out there know what I'm talking about?
Today I met with Tyson's teachers at preschool. He will be 3 in 2 months, so they will be starting to re-evaluate him for special services.
Tyson was making huge gains in speech, but now it has leveled off over the last month and half. In September he qualified in gross motor, occupational/adaptive, and speech. We are pretty sure he will not qualify in gross motor or adaptive anymore. It does look like he'll qualify in speech, but of course we won't know until he is actually tested. If he does qualify, he will be able to attend the same school my daughter attends, our local elementary just 1 mile from our house. That will eliminate the big bus ride he has, and he can attend up to 4 mornings a week. Wow! So that's the update.
Now more on speech, and I'm hoping some cleft parents can chime in here. I knew speech would be a tough road. But now that Ty is almost three, I'm freaking out. Yes, he has come a super long way in his 8 months home, palate repaired 4.5 months ago. I knew all this when we adopted him. But when that little guy looks at me and is trying to tell me what he wants and needs, or tries to tell me a story, or just uses one word utterances, it suddenly makes me want to just cry. I usually can hardly understand a word he says. It all sounds the same, which a few extra sounds mixed in.
No parent wants to see their child struggle. I have watched my daughter struggle with math and reading comprehension for a few years now. The comprehension has improved, and as for math, it's balancing keeping her interested vs. burning her out to the point she hates math. But that's another story...
I hate seeing Tyson unable to communicate. And I hate to admit it, but I am tired of the shrieks, squeaks, and growls. He is straining his voice due to poor hearing, and he screams so loud and it's getting on my nerves! Yes, he has added many sounds in his speech. It's like a child who knows letter sounds but can't read--can't blend the sounds together to make words. Ty cannot get those sounds into a word. If there is no body language, I can't possible meet his needs. One day he said, "Help" very clearly, but I was trying to figure out what object he wanted. Finally he took his fist, cupped his other hand underneath and lifted--the sign for help--and yelled, "Help!" Oh....and wouldn't you know it, he said it as clear as day.
I will be calling tomorrow to find out when his speech therapist will be back so we can get going in speech again. Please pray for that situation too. It's the most inflexible office I've ever dealt with--oh wait, no, USCIS/Hague Unit still holds that title. Anyway...they want him same day/time each week. I got upset with the receptionist one day and just flat out told her I had expected that they would work with me, but that obviously wasn't the case. Her tone changed fast. And I admit, I got a call to do a survey on the service of the office. I raved about the therapist--love her! Then I got to say my part on the other stuff...we'll see how scheduling goes this time :)
In one week, he gets his new ear tubes. I am crossing my fingers that will help, but I am not holding my breath. I know I know...time...time...time...easier said than done.
Tyson was making huge gains in speech, but now it has leveled off over the last month and half. In September he qualified in gross motor, occupational/adaptive, and speech. We are pretty sure he will not qualify in gross motor or adaptive anymore. It does look like he'll qualify in speech, but of course we won't know until he is actually tested. If he does qualify, he will be able to attend the same school my daughter attends, our local elementary just 1 mile from our house. That will eliminate the big bus ride he has, and he can attend up to 4 mornings a week. Wow! So that's the update.
Now more on speech, and I'm hoping some cleft parents can chime in here. I knew speech would be a tough road. But now that Ty is almost three, I'm freaking out. Yes, he has come a super long way in his 8 months home, palate repaired 4.5 months ago. I knew all this when we adopted him. But when that little guy looks at me and is trying to tell me what he wants and needs, or tries to tell me a story, or just uses one word utterances, it suddenly makes me want to just cry. I usually can hardly understand a word he says. It all sounds the same, which a few extra sounds mixed in.
No parent wants to see their child struggle. I have watched my daughter struggle with math and reading comprehension for a few years now. The comprehension has improved, and as for math, it's balancing keeping her interested vs. burning her out to the point she hates math. But that's another story...
I hate seeing Tyson unable to communicate. And I hate to admit it, but I am tired of the shrieks, squeaks, and growls. He is straining his voice due to poor hearing, and he screams so loud and it's getting on my nerves! Yes, he has added many sounds in his speech. It's like a child who knows letter sounds but can't read--can't blend the sounds together to make words. Ty cannot get those sounds into a word. If there is no body language, I can't possible meet his needs. One day he said, "Help" very clearly, but I was trying to figure out what object he wanted. Finally he took his fist, cupped his other hand underneath and lifted--the sign for help--and yelled, "Help!" Oh....and wouldn't you know it, he said it as clear as day.
I will be calling tomorrow to find out when his speech therapist will be back so we can get going in speech again. Please pray for that situation too. It's the most inflexible office I've ever dealt with--oh wait, no, USCIS/Hague Unit still holds that title. Anyway...they want him same day/time each week. I got upset with the receptionist one day and just flat out told her I had expected that they would work with me, but that obviously wasn't the case. Her tone changed fast. And I admit, I got a call to do a survey on the service of the office. I raved about the therapist--love her! Then I got to say my part on the other stuff...we'll see how scheduling goes this time :)
In one week, he gets his new ear tubes. I am crossing my fingers that will help, but I am not holding my breath. I know I know...time...time...time...easier said than done.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
It's been one of those days...
...when you show up to work to find out your principal is being re-assigned. Good move for him, but now we get to get used to yet another principal. We are a good staff, it's just where the chips keep falling.
...when you just don't have the time to do what needs to be done to be a good teacher. I know what needs to be done, but I've never had a year where there was such a line between work and home. Once I'm home, even if I do bring papers home, rarely do they come out.
...when you are just totally thankful for warming up left-overs from the refrigerator for dinner, and your kids think you are amazing!
...when you get home, you just want to play blocks with your son!
Or maybe I just want to hear him sing.
And with this, I remember that at some point in my life, I did do something right!
...when you just don't have the time to do what needs to be done to be a good teacher. I know what needs to be done, but I've never had a year where there was such a line between work and home. Once I'm home, even if I do bring papers home, rarely do they come out.
...when you are just totally thankful for warming up left-overs from the refrigerator for dinner, and your kids think you are amazing!
...when you get home, you just want to play blocks with your son!
Or maybe I just want to hear him sing.
And with this, I remember that at some point in my life, I did do something right!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
A trip to the ER for me
So much for my wonderful weekend... That pinched nerve in my back turned into be a back-stabbing-stop-me-in-my-tracks spasm that would leave me screaming in pain and unable to move. So no date night for us!
Dan's sister came about noon on Saturday, and I went to the ER. They gave me some good pain killers and muscle relaxers to get through the weekend. Sadly, the pain meds still weren't strong enough, but I'm not a medicine person, so I just took it and was thankful that at least I had some movement.
I cannot pick up Tyson, which is very upsetting. He's rejecting me because I won't/can't pick him up. He sat on my lap for a bit, but I had to put him down because it was pulling my back too much. I am not supposed to pick up anything heavier than a lap top.
But on a happier note...two families from my agency are in China and are either meeting their children now or will be very soon! Please say a prayer for them over the next week or two as they travel in province and later to Guangzhou. One family is near Beijing, the other in Nanjing, where we met Tyson. Nanjing just holds such a special place in my heart.
Father God, I pray for these families as they meet their new daughter and son, that bonding will occur quickly, grieving will be minimal, and they will travel safely from place to place in China. I pray that you will be with them every step of their journey. Amen
Dan's sister came about noon on Saturday, and I went to the ER. They gave me some good pain killers and muscle relaxers to get through the weekend. Sadly, the pain meds still weren't strong enough, but I'm not a medicine person, so I just took it and was thankful that at least I had some movement.
I cannot pick up Tyson, which is very upsetting. He's rejecting me because I won't/can't pick him up. He sat on my lap for a bit, but I had to put him down because it was pulling my back too much. I am not supposed to pick up anything heavier than a lap top.
But on a happier note...two families from my agency are in China and are either meeting their children now or will be very soon! Please say a prayer for them over the next week or two as they travel in province and later to Guangzhou. One family is near Beijing, the other in Nanjing, where we met Tyson. Nanjing just holds such a special place in my heart.
Father God, I pray for these families as they meet their new daughter and son, that bonding will occur quickly, grieving will be minimal, and they will travel safely from place to place in China. I pray that you will be with them every step of their journey. Amen
Friday, April 16, 2010
Busy Spring
I haven't posted much lately, and that is because we are soooooo busy! Baseball twice a week, piano once a week, and that's just Kacie. I am starting a class at church on Wednesday nights called "Financial Peace University" that will keep me busy as well as I try to get our finances back in check now that the adoption bills are about gone. We still have one more post placement and re-adoption to pay for. I am finding the school days are flying by. Too much to teach, not enough teach it and ensure my students learn.
On top of it all, I have a pinched nerve in my back. I can barely move!
Kacie's games will start soon, and Ty will be starting private speech again in May. April 29th is coming quickly, which will be when Tyson gets new ear tubes. That will give me something to blog about.
Dan and I are going to our first movie tomorrow night since Ty came home, and it will be our second time away without the kids.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
On top of it all, I have a pinched nerve in my back. I can barely move!
Kacie's games will start soon, and Ty will be starting private speech again in May. April 29th is coming quickly, which will be when Tyson gets new ear tubes. That will give me something to blog about.
Dan and I are going to our first movie tomorrow night since Ty came home, and it will be our second time away without the kids.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Having his cake...and eating it too?
Here is Tyson enjoying Dan's birthday cake last night. My son has the most infectious laugh I have ever heard! He has recently learned to blow, so he helped Ba Ba blow out his birthday candles...and the fun just continued! Don't forget to pause the music on the right so you can hear his incredible laugh.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
"Don't worry, he's mine!"
Our trip to Disneyland was a blast, but it also brought out some interesting observations and thoughts.
At times, I didn't feel like a conspicuous family at all. At other times, I felt like we stood out, mainly when Tyson would run away because he was in his stroller way to much, and for those who know Ty know that he is BUSY! He likes to run and jump and run some more, so when he got some freedom and would run, I don't just mean a few steps. I mean 20-30 feet away. The good news is that he would turn back and look. I tested this out a few times. I knew what I was doing, but those around me didn't. All they saw was this little boy with no one around that resembled his parents. "Don't worry, he's mine!" I'd say, sometimes with emotion, sometimes in monotone, just depending on my mood. Then people would smile, and I stopped looking because I was focused on Ty, making sure he didn't go far. I appreciated their concern, and it showed that there are still good people. But then I wonder what they thought of me as a parent, letting my child run like that. I knew exactly what I was doing.
Attachment in toddler adoption is a tricky thing. I remember being home a month or two, taking Tyson to our local mall (which is totally dead), and he got away and ran and ran and ran, never looking back. I knew we did not have an attachment at that point. We were certainly bonding, but the attachment was not there. Fast forward another 1.5 months, same place. I did the same thing; I let him run, seeing how far he'd go. He turned a corner, and I went after him; and to my shock and elation, he came back grinning, but he came back.
Lately things haven't been peachy-rosy with Tyson. He still hits, he's even more stubborn, hates to be changed, and picky about food. Some would say this is called being two. But if you look at it from an adoption/attachment standpoint, there could be more than meets the eye. Control? Attachment? Anger? All of these?
So in Disneyland, I decided as long as I was close by him, I'd let him run, just to see if he'd look back. Praise God, he did. He never went too far. But then I realized by doing my little experiment, I was sending the message that running off from Mommy is OK. Ugh! So then it was back to behavior modification. By Thursday, he was doing great staying with us and coming back when told. Truth be told, he knew the consequence was getting back in the stroller, and he had had enough of that!
But we did see some not-so-good attachment behaviors, such as talking to total strangers, screaming at children who looked at him, etc... so we know we still have work to do in the attachment area. It was good info to get so that we are aware that we still have work to do, and we can make a conscious effort to focus on it.
Transitions are also very hard on him. Our family has never had much of a schedule due to Dan's strange work schedule. Kacie grew up this way, so she never knew different. Tyson on the other hand, grew up in an orphanage where things were very scheduled and routine. We have routines, and he does well with them. Unfortunately, there just isn't a daily routine. He goes to daycare more some weeks, less others. Then there's preschool once a week. He never quite knows what's going on. He's almost to the age that we can start telling him what's happening for the day. But the last three days that I've dropped him off for daycare, he has cried and cried. I want to say that it's because I was with him all spring break, then I'm leaving him again, but I really am not sure.
He is a challenge, sun up to sun down, and I can't even say the good moments outnumber or outweigh the difficult ones. But I can say that the good moments make up for the difficult ones, and for that I am so proud to say, "He's MINE!"
At times, I didn't feel like a conspicuous family at all. At other times, I felt like we stood out, mainly when Tyson would run away because he was in his stroller way to much, and for those who know Ty know that he is BUSY! He likes to run and jump and run some more, so when he got some freedom and would run, I don't just mean a few steps. I mean 20-30 feet away. The good news is that he would turn back and look. I tested this out a few times. I knew what I was doing, but those around me didn't. All they saw was this little boy with no one around that resembled his parents. "Don't worry, he's mine!" I'd say, sometimes with emotion, sometimes in monotone, just depending on my mood. Then people would smile, and I stopped looking because I was focused on Ty, making sure he didn't go far. I appreciated their concern, and it showed that there are still good people. But then I wonder what they thought of me as a parent, letting my child run like that. I knew exactly what I was doing.
Attachment in toddler adoption is a tricky thing. I remember being home a month or two, taking Tyson to our local mall (which is totally dead), and he got away and ran and ran and ran, never looking back. I knew we did not have an attachment at that point. We were certainly bonding, but the attachment was not there. Fast forward another 1.5 months, same place. I did the same thing; I let him run, seeing how far he'd go. He turned a corner, and I went after him; and to my shock and elation, he came back grinning, but he came back.
Lately things haven't been peachy-rosy with Tyson. He still hits, he's even more stubborn, hates to be changed, and picky about food. Some would say this is called being two. But if you look at it from an adoption/attachment standpoint, there could be more than meets the eye. Control? Attachment? Anger? All of these?
So in Disneyland, I decided as long as I was close by him, I'd let him run, just to see if he'd look back. Praise God, he did. He never went too far. But then I realized by doing my little experiment, I was sending the message that running off from Mommy is OK. Ugh! So then it was back to behavior modification. By Thursday, he was doing great staying with us and coming back when told. Truth be told, he knew the consequence was getting back in the stroller, and he had had enough of that!
But we did see some not-so-good attachment behaviors, such as talking to total strangers, screaming at children who looked at him, etc... so we know we still have work to do in the attachment area. It was good info to get so that we are aware that we still have work to do, and we can make a conscious effort to focus on it.
Transitions are also very hard on him. Our family has never had much of a schedule due to Dan's strange work schedule. Kacie grew up this way, so she never knew different. Tyson on the other hand, grew up in an orphanage where things were very scheduled and routine. We have routines, and he does well with them. Unfortunately, there just isn't a daily routine. He goes to daycare more some weeks, less others. Then there's preschool once a week. He never quite knows what's going on. He's almost to the age that we can start telling him what's happening for the day. But the last three days that I've dropped him off for daycare, he has cried and cried. I want to say that it's because I was with him all spring break, then I'm leaving him again, but I really am not sure.
He is a challenge, sun up to sun down, and I can't even say the good moments outnumber or outweigh the difficult ones. But I can say that the good moments make up for the difficult ones, and for that I am so proud to say, "He's MINE!"
Monday, April 5, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Ty's first Easter with us, and 12 years!
Not only is today Easter, it's also our 12th anniversary! Unfortunately, Dan had to work. The funniest part was neither of us remembered this morning before he left for work! We were having way too much fun with the kids and their Easter baskets.
We have had a wonderful day. The kids and I went to church. Ty must still be tired from Disneyland because he would not stop crying in his class, so I had to go in there with him. In fact, on the way he kept saying NO NO NO! I know he just wants to be home.
After church we went out for breakfast with my mom and sister, then on to our little egg hunt at a nearby park. Kacie has attended this egg hunt since she was 2, and this was her last year since it only goes up to age 8. She actually, finally, got a prize egg! Then Ty napped, and when he woke up we dyed our Easter eggs. Now the kids are having egg hunts with plastic eggs.
Don't you love the note Kacie left the easter bunny? She wrote it just before bed. Her spelling is usually much better, but it was so sweet I wasn't about to make her edit it!
Enjoy the pictures, and Happy Easter!
Matthew 28:6 NLT "He isn't here! He has been raised from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying."
We have had a wonderful day. The kids and I went to church. Ty must still be tired from Disneyland because he would not stop crying in his class, so I had to go in there with him. In fact, on the way he kept saying NO NO NO! I know he just wants to be home.
After church we went out for breakfast with my mom and sister, then on to our little egg hunt at a nearby park. Kacie has attended this egg hunt since she was 2, and this was her last year since it only goes up to age 8. She actually, finally, got a prize egg! Then Ty napped, and when he woke up we dyed our Easter eggs. Now the kids are having egg hunts with plastic eggs.
Don't you love the note Kacie left the easter bunny? She wrote it just before bed. Her spelling is usually much better, but it was so sweet I wasn't about to make her edit it!
Enjoy the pictures, and Happy Easter!
Matthew 28:6 NLT "He isn't here! He has been raised from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying."
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Hello from Disneyland!
Sorry, no pics tonight, but they will be up soon. I will start by saying we are having a blast! The kids are doing great, we've met characters, got on the rides we wanted, all is good. But I have one gripe and one precious story.
My biggest gripe: The Disneyland Hotel.
We decided to fork out the extra $$ to stay on property, thinking it would be closer for Ty and just a special way to celebrate our first vacation as a family of four. We are not rolling in money--far from it. I am so disappointed. The walk is just as long to the park as it is to stay off property. The hotel is boring at best. I had expected it to be a little more over the top disney, but it's quite bland. The pool, which is known for, was FREEZING cold. We only needed it on Monday, and we had one very frustrated little girl on our hands. We did have a fabulous dinner at Goofy's Kitchen. I'm so glad we came because Kacie is still young enough to love the characters, and Ty's eyes light up too.
And now the precious story: Tyson met Pooh!
Today I got pretty emotional. Tyson loves Winnie the Pooh and all that goes along with it. I was surprised when I saw pictures of his orphanage at Changzhoubecause it has paintings of the Winnie the Pooh characters on the wall. When we got home, I had a Winnie the Pooh and piglet stuffed animals for him, as well as a set of books of the four main characters. He has always enjoyed them.
Today we went to Critter Corner and while everyone went on Splash Mountain, I took Tyson to see Pooh and Eyeore. Ty saw Pooh and just lit up! But he didn't understand we had to get in line to visit him. But Ty seemed OK with that, so we just stood near the front outside the ropes and just watched everyone get their pictures taken. I tried taking him to the end of the line a few times, but he would just freak out. So there we stood, Ty in his stroller, and me beside him, watching him bask in the happiness of being 5 feet away from his beloved bear friend. Out of nowhere this lady, who was in the front of the line says, "Would you like to go ahead of me? I've seen you waiting." I said, "Oh, it's OK, he won't get out of his stroller, and he won't get in line, so it's OK, I can't get the stroller in there." Well, the guy working there said, "Hey, just let me know, and we can bring him in! I'll undo both ropes!" I was just shocked, "Really?" I asked. And the next thing I knew, the ropes came down, and the man said, "Pooh, we have a very special friend here to visit you!" And Ty was just beaming. Pooh was very sweet to Ty, even more so than to the other kids (I think anyway). Then we went to meet Eyeore, and he was just as enthralled. I didn't get any pictures, but I have the photo pass and will order them when we get home because to me, they are priceless. I had tears in my eyes and a joy in my heart like I could never imagine.
I was walking back, and I realized I didn't thank that lady who offered for us to go ahead of her. As we waited for our family to get off Splash Mountain, the lady came up to me and said how cute Ty was and how great it was to see him with Ty. I was glad she stopped so I could thank her and I told her I realized that I hadn't thanked her. She said seeing Ty's face was thanks enough. I then started to cry, and I just felt like I needed to share the story of why Winnie the Pooh is so important in Ty's life. I will never know if she was Christian or not, but I could totally feel God at work.
Then she had just started to walk away, I had tears streaming down my face, and my family and friends got off of Splash Mountain, pumped up from the big drop and laughing at Dan who was all wet. And there I was...so glad I didn't go on that ride because I had just had one of the ups of our wild ride with Tyson.
My biggest gripe: The Disneyland Hotel.
We decided to fork out the extra $$ to stay on property, thinking it would be closer for Ty and just a special way to celebrate our first vacation as a family of four. We are not rolling in money--far from it. I am so disappointed. The walk is just as long to the park as it is to stay off property. The hotel is boring at best. I had expected it to be a little more over the top disney, but it's quite bland. The pool, which is known for, was FREEZING cold. We only needed it on Monday, and we had one very frustrated little girl on our hands. We did have a fabulous dinner at Goofy's Kitchen. I'm so glad we came because Kacie is still young enough to love the characters, and Ty's eyes light up too.
And now the precious story: Tyson met Pooh!
Today I got pretty emotional. Tyson loves Winnie the Pooh and all that goes along with it. I was surprised when I saw pictures of his orphanage at Changzhoubecause it has paintings of the Winnie the Pooh characters on the wall. When we got home, I had a Winnie the Pooh and piglet stuffed animals for him, as well as a set of books of the four main characters. He has always enjoyed them.
Today we went to Critter Corner and while everyone went on Splash Mountain, I took Tyson to see Pooh and Eyeore. Ty saw Pooh and just lit up! But he didn't understand we had to get in line to visit him. But Ty seemed OK with that, so we just stood near the front outside the ropes and just watched everyone get their pictures taken. I tried taking him to the end of the line a few times, but he would just freak out. So there we stood, Ty in his stroller, and me beside him, watching him bask in the happiness of being 5 feet away from his beloved bear friend. Out of nowhere this lady, who was in the front of the line says, "Would you like to go ahead of me? I've seen you waiting." I said, "Oh, it's OK, he won't get out of his stroller, and he won't get in line, so it's OK, I can't get the stroller in there." Well, the guy working there said, "Hey, just let me know, and we can bring him in! I'll undo both ropes!" I was just shocked, "Really?" I asked. And the next thing I knew, the ropes came down, and the man said, "Pooh, we have a very special friend here to visit you!" And Ty was just beaming. Pooh was very sweet to Ty, even more so than to the other kids (I think anyway). Then we went to meet Eyeore, and he was just as enthralled. I didn't get any pictures, but I have the photo pass and will order them when we get home because to me, they are priceless. I had tears in my eyes and a joy in my heart like I could never imagine.
I was walking back, and I realized I didn't thank that lady who offered for us to go ahead of her. As we waited for our family to get off Splash Mountain, the lady came up to me and said how cute Ty was and how great it was to see him with Ty. I was glad she stopped so I could thank her and I told her I realized that I hadn't thanked her. She said seeing Ty's face was thanks enough. I then started to cry, and I just felt like I needed to share the story of why Winnie the Pooh is so important in Ty's life. I will never know if she was Christian or not, but I could totally feel God at work.
Then she had just started to walk away, I had tears streaming down my face, and my family and friends got off of Splash Mountain, pumped up from the big drop and laughing at Dan who was all wet. And there I was...so glad I didn't go on that ride because I had just had one of the ups of our wild ride with Tyson.
Friday, March 26, 2010
It's Spring Break!
We are off to Disneyland on Sunday night! I'll be posting from there next week to share pictures of our first official vacation as a family of four!
And as our family has grown, so has the need for a larger vehicle. I checked out some vehicles today, and I really liked the price and features of the Dodge Journey. I am hoping something works out after we get back from DL.
We had Kacie's conference this week. She wrote that her goal in life is to become a doctor for kids with special needs. My heart swelled. Yes, she struggles in some areas, but nothing we can't overcome with extra practice. I told her that the fact she has that big of a heart and cares for people, we are so proud of her!
Have a great weekend!
And as our family has grown, so has the need for a larger vehicle. I checked out some vehicles today, and I really liked the price and features of the Dodge Journey. I am hoping something works out after we get back from DL.
We had Kacie's conference this week. She wrote that her goal in life is to become a doctor for kids with special needs. My heart swelled. Yes, she struggles in some areas, but nothing we can't overcome with extra practice. I told her that the fact she has that big of a heart and cares for people, we are so proud of her!
Have a great weekend!
Monday, March 22, 2010
A Visit to Children's Today
We visited the cleft team for Tyson's 3 month post palate and ear tubes surgery. I was very pleased with the outcome, which might sound funny when I say that he has to get ear tubes again. Here's the gist:
Audiology: Ty wouldn't cooperate during the hearing test. But when they put the sensor in his ear to test for ear drum activity, it flat lined, meaning basically something is still blocking the ear drum.
Pediatrician: Very happy with growth and progress
Surgeon: Palate is healed! Praise the Lord! No new surgeries until we are ready for a lip revision. We are thinking maybe December 2011? Yeah, that far off! Yay!
ENT: Looked at his ears. There is dried blood blocking the tubes, so they are not working. The ENT said it's the first time in years he has seen this and he insists we redo the tubes, as drops aren't going to help. It's that bad. Ty is also very loud, and the ENT said, "Is he always this loud?" We said YES! He agrees, we have to fix this. PRAISE THE LORD! I was in a personal silent peril because I couldn't believe he had tubes and could still be as loud as he is.
Speech: This is a long story, so if you're not into speech, the gist is he is making the sounds well but needs speech to get rid of old bad habits. The long story is that Ty can make the sounds! But, he makes compensatory sounds called glottal stops in his vocal cords, so he's not using consonants to make syllable stops. For example, for "Rocky" he says, "Ah-ee" even though he can now make the "k" sound. If he were a regular developing two-year old, we wouldn't even be talking about speech. But, we have to work on eliminating the glottal stops. Also, due to his hearing loss, he is straining his vocal cords. Therefore, once the new tubes are in, we will be doing some behavior modification regarding his voice level. This will be well worth it!
So that was our day! It's always a long one, but I always come home feeling so blessed and happy we chose to adopt Tyson. He is one amazing little boy!
Audiology: Ty wouldn't cooperate during the hearing test. But when they put the sensor in his ear to test for ear drum activity, it flat lined, meaning basically something is still blocking the ear drum.
Pediatrician: Very happy with growth and progress
Surgeon: Palate is healed! Praise the Lord! No new surgeries until we are ready for a lip revision. We are thinking maybe December 2011? Yeah, that far off! Yay!
ENT: Looked at his ears. There is dried blood blocking the tubes, so they are not working. The ENT said it's the first time in years he has seen this and he insists we redo the tubes, as drops aren't going to help. It's that bad. Ty is also very loud, and the ENT said, "Is he always this loud?" We said YES! He agrees, we have to fix this. PRAISE THE LORD! I was in a personal silent peril because I couldn't believe he had tubes and could still be as loud as he is.
Speech: This is a long story, so if you're not into speech, the gist is he is making the sounds well but needs speech to get rid of old bad habits. The long story is that Ty can make the sounds! But, he makes compensatory sounds called glottal stops in his vocal cords, so he's not using consonants to make syllable stops. For example, for "Rocky" he says, "Ah-ee" even though he can now make the "k" sound. If he were a regular developing two-year old, we wouldn't even be talking about speech. But, we have to work on eliminating the glottal stops. Also, due to his hearing loss, he is straining his vocal cords. Therefore, once the new tubes are in, we will be doing some behavior modification regarding his voice level. This will be well worth it!
So that was our day! It's always a long one, but I always come home feeling so blessed and happy we chose to adopt Tyson. He is one amazing little boy!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
3 month check-up coming up!
Today I am doing report cards, but I really need a break. Your brain starts to play tricks on you and all the little boxes start looking the same. I also cooked dinner, and listening to the kids from the kitchen has been quite a joy, or not.
K: OW! It hurts when you hit me with the hammer. (Play hammer, of course)
T: Oh. you OKaaaaaayyy?
K: Yes, I'm OK
T: OK. Sorry
and they continue playing, until he does it again. Yes, I know you are thinking that I should take away the hammer. Honestly, this is minor, and at least he's showing remorse. That is a huge step. There is peace, and it's beautiful. No hammer incidents in 10 minutes now.
And it's funny...he can't make the "K" sound to say any words except "OK". The good news is that we know he can make the sound.
On Monday we head back to Seattle to see the cleft team: pediatrician, nurse, surgeon, ENT, speech path, and an audiology visit to recheck Ty's hearing. Tyson is incredibly LOUD ALL THE TIME, so I'm a bit concerned about this. I try to look at his palate, but I really don't know what I'm looking at. I think it looks fine, but what do I know. I also wonder if we'll be talking about another surgery.
On this trip, my mom will be going with me because it is a quite stressful event to drive to Seattle with Ty on my own. On the last trip he weaseled out of his carseat straps twice! We have also had a last minute change...Kacie will also be going with us! It's a half day of school, and I'm not sure if we'll be back before daycare closes, so I thought this would be a good chance for her to see what we do with Tyson and to see the hospital. I think it's important that she is kept informed and involved, as she has been impacted by not just the adoption, but the ongoing care for his special need, such as sitting in the waiting room of speech therapy playing Nintendo DS, farmed out to other families during surgeries, etc...
Honestly, for our family--speaking only from MY experience, cleft lip/palate has been a very manageable special need. It does take resources, time away from work, therapy visits, etc...but for us, Ty fits in perfectly. He's Tyson first, and we deal with the cleft issues when they arise. This is not to say Ty is perfect...who is? He has his toddler challenges, no doubt. The screaming during diaper and clothing changes is back. He pushes the limits, tests the boundaries, just as any toddler would.
By the way...he will be 3 in three months...I'm not talking about that right now.
Please pray for us that we have safe travels and a successful visit to the cleft team. Thank you!--J
K: OW! It hurts when you hit me with the hammer. (Play hammer, of course)
T: Oh. you OKaaaaaayyy?
K: Yes, I'm OK
T: OK. Sorry
and they continue playing, until he does it again. Yes, I know you are thinking that I should take away the hammer. Honestly, this is minor, and at least he's showing remorse. That is a huge step. There is peace, and it's beautiful. No hammer incidents in 10 minutes now.
And it's funny...he can't make the "K" sound to say any words except "OK". The good news is that we know he can make the sound.
On Monday we head back to Seattle to see the cleft team: pediatrician, nurse, surgeon, ENT, speech path, and an audiology visit to recheck Ty's hearing. Tyson is incredibly LOUD ALL THE TIME, so I'm a bit concerned about this. I try to look at his palate, but I really don't know what I'm looking at. I think it looks fine, but what do I know. I also wonder if we'll be talking about another surgery.
On this trip, my mom will be going with me because it is a quite stressful event to drive to Seattle with Ty on my own. On the last trip he weaseled out of his carseat straps twice! We have also had a last minute change...Kacie will also be going with us! It's a half day of school, and I'm not sure if we'll be back before daycare closes, so I thought this would be a good chance for her to see what we do with Tyson and to see the hospital. I think it's important that she is kept informed and involved, as she has been impacted by not just the adoption, but the ongoing care for his special need, such as sitting in the waiting room of speech therapy playing Nintendo DS, farmed out to other families during surgeries, etc...
Honestly, for our family--speaking only from MY experience, cleft lip/palate has been a very manageable special need. It does take resources, time away from work, therapy visits, etc...but for us, Ty fits in perfectly. He's Tyson first, and we deal with the cleft issues when they arise. This is not to say Ty is perfect...who is? He has his toddler challenges, no doubt. The screaming during diaper and clothing changes is back. He pushes the limits, tests the boundaries, just as any toddler would.
By the way...he will be 3 in three months...I'm not talking about that right now.
Please pray for us that we have safe travels and a successful visit to the cleft team. Thank you!--J
Monday, March 15, 2010
The new stats!
Dan took Tyson to the dr today for well child visit. Here are the new stats. Tyson will be 33 months in one week.
Height: 35 3/4 inches, 22nd %ile
Weight: 33lbs, 75th%ile
Head Circ: 19.8in, 81st %ile
Can you believe it? Here is a link to his prior stats and why we think Tyson's growth, particularly head circumference, is truly a miracle. http://powellfamilyadoption.blogspot.com/2009/12/small-head-circumference-and.html
I also copied and pasted them here so I could add the new ones. I had to convert inches to cm to keep with consistency. Keep in mind that Ty's palate surgery was at 30 months. His lip repair in China was at 10 months.
Length/Height:
8-9 months: 63.5cm, below the charts
16 months: 75.5cm, 5th%ile
22 months: 81cm, 5th%ile
*26 months: 83cm, 5th %ile
27 months: 84cm, 5th %ile
30 months: 86cm, 5th %ile
33 months: 90.8cm, 22 %ile
Weight--it's amazing what enough food can do!
8-9 months: 6.5kg/14.3lbs, below the charts
16 months: 8.5kg/18.5lbs, below the charts
22 months: 10.5kg/23lbs, 5th%ile
*26 months: 10kg/22lbs, below the charts
27 months: 12kg/26.5lbs, just under 25%ile
30 months: 30lbs, 50th %ile
33 months: 33.5lbs, 75%ile
Head Circumference
8-9 months: either 40cm or 41.5cm, all below the charts
16 months: 44cm, below the chart
22 months: 46.5cm, between 5th and 10th%ile
*26 months: 48cm, 25th %ile (I measured to confirm it too and watched 2 nurses as well)
30 months: 49.5cm, 50th %ile (based on my own measurement)
33 months: 50.3cm, 81st %ile
All in all Tyson is doing great! He is now jumping without holding anything and can climb stairs without holding anything. In February he had a pretty good speech explosion; this month it's gross motor skills. He loves buses and trains, and his favorite of anything continues to be "Cars".
Now if we could get him to quit picking on his big sister...hmmmmm...
Enjoy the pics!
Height: 35 3/4 inches, 22nd %ile
Weight: 33lbs, 75th%ile
Head Circ: 19.8in, 81st %ile
Can you believe it? Here is a link to his prior stats and why we think Tyson's growth, particularly head circumference, is truly a miracle. http://powellfamilyadoption.blogspot.com/2009/12/small-head-circumference-and.html
I also copied and pasted them here so I could add the new ones. I had to convert inches to cm to keep with consistency. Keep in mind that Ty's palate surgery was at 30 months. His lip repair in China was at 10 months.
Length/Height:
8-9 months: 63.5cm, below the charts
16 months: 75.5cm, 5th%ile
22 months: 81cm, 5th%ile
*26 months: 83cm, 5th %ile
27 months: 84cm, 5th %ile
30 months: 86cm, 5th %ile
33 months: 90.8cm, 22 %ile
Weight--it's amazing what enough food can do!
8-9 months: 6.5kg/14.3lbs, below the charts
16 months: 8.5kg/18.5lbs, below the charts
22 months: 10.5kg/23lbs, 5th%ile
*26 months: 10kg/22lbs, below the charts
27 months: 12kg/26.5lbs, just under 25%ile
30 months: 30lbs, 50th %ile
33 months: 33.5lbs, 75%ile
Head Circumference
8-9 months: either 40cm or 41.5cm, all below the charts
16 months: 44cm, below the chart
22 months: 46.5cm, between 5th and 10th%ile
*26 months: 48cm, 25th %ile (I measured to confirm it too and watched 2 nurses as well)
30 months: 49.5cm, 50th %ile (based on my own measurement)
33 months: 50.3cm, 81st %ile
All in all Tyson is doing great! He is now jumping without holding anything and can climb stairs without holding anything. In February he had a pretty good speech explosion; this month it's gross motor skills. He loves buses and trains, and his favorite of anything continues to be "Cars".
Now if we could get him to quit picking on his big sister...hmmmmm...
Enjoy the pics!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Smile Pinki DVD-- I watched it
My "Smile Pinki" DVD came in the mail yesterday. I have been waiting for months to watch this. I can vividly remember last year when this documentary won an Oscar because I was also impatiently waiting for our LOA to adopt Tyson. I had never seen his "before" photos of his unrepaired lip, and I had no idea what to expect regarding the wideness of his palate. For those who don't know, "Smile Pinki" is a documentary backed by Smile Train that depicts the journey of people who travel to a city in India to get their cleft lips and palates repaired--for free.
This documentary is amazing, and I think every human being needs to see it, and here's why: I firmly, 100% believe that people are selfish and greedy and need to learn compassion. I am included. I was completely convicted while watching the documentary.
You see, I tell my students that it doesn't matter what we look like on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts. I believe that and I try to live it. I can look at children with cleft lips, and it doesn't phase me at all.
But then I saw him. The documentary shows a young man, maybe a teen, with a protruding cleft lip--the most severe I've ever seen, even in pictures. I believe the documentary said his nose was protruding 2 inches. I gasped. I hope I was feeling compassion, and I think I was, knowing what kind of life he had been leading. But I was also shocked. I am laying it out here because I remembered how people feel when they see a child with a cleft. I felt the reaction.
How can I expect people to not react to cleft children just because I don't? I have to remember, I have a very vested interest in the subject. However, if it's something I believe, it doesn't mean I don't have weaknesses. I know how far I've come in the time that I've been learning about facial and cranial deformities, and I know how much research and exposure it has taken to get me to that point. And I'm still on my journey.
And this is why I think everyone needs to see this documentary. My daughter watched it with me, and she ignored the subtitles. I was reading them to her, and she said, "Mom, I don't need them. I know what's going on just by watching the people." Enough said.
It's only 45 minutes. If you want a copy, you go to the Smile Train website and request one. A donation is nice too, but not required. I've heard it said, "We all have special needs." This is true, we are all unique individuals. Compound that with a facial deformity--something everyone can see on the outside. I don't think any of us can quite comprehend what that must be like unless we live it. But what we can do is have compassion for those who face challenges beyond what we understand. One of my favorite songs is "Mighty to Save" and the first line is, "Everyone needs compassion..." It is so true.
As I watched, I thought about Tyson's lip repair in China, and I wept. I wish I had been there for him when he woke up. I hope the doctors treated him as lovingly as the doctors in this documentary. I am so thankful for organizations like Smile Train and Operation Smile. I don't know who is responsible for Tyson's lip repair. I hope someday I'll know.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Shake your booty!
We are having one insanely crazy night at our house. First, Ty woke up with nightmares early AM. Then he had way too much energy all day, and at daycare he got put on coloring restriction, meaning all he could do was color, because he kept throwing things at kids--toys, magnets, you name it.
Tonight has been one of those crazy nights where thank goodness we are home and not in public. As you can see from the video, he is one goofy crazy boy! As Kacie was putting away dishes, he jumped on the chair and started shaking his booty! Kacie grabbed the flip camera, and we got it on video. Too funny!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Luck (Warning--photos may be hard to look at)
Sorry for no new pictures of Ty lately...really I have no excuse. I should be taking more pictures.
St. Patrick's Day is coming up--I was reminded by the Shamrock milkshakes advertised at McDonalds "OH-NOs" as Ty calls it. This got me thinking about luck. I want to write about something that comes straight from my heart regarding luck.
We are told once a week, "Wow, he is one lucky boy," or something along those lines. I always smile and say, "No, we are the ones who are lucky!" and give Tyson a hug and a kiss. I don't say and do this to make others feel bad, but to send the message that Tyson is a gift and blessing to us, and it is NOT the other way around.
Tyson did not choose to not be raised by his biological parents. We praise God everyday his parents chose his life. But, he did not choose to be adopted. He was born under circumstances that we will never fully understand, as hard as we might try. As he gets older, we will deal with his insecurities and questions. We are prepared the best that one can possibly be prepared I guess.
God blessed us with the opportunity to become Tyson's parents. That is how we truly feel. It isn't about luck...it was about putting our faith in God that this little boy that we only knew on paper would be joining our family. There was a discussion on RQ awhile back about "meant to be" and it really got me thinking. Was Tyson "meant to be" in our family? I haven't quite resolved that one in my head yet. What I do know is that somehow our lives became connected, meant to be or not.
When a baby is born, do people say to the parents, "Wow, this is one lucky baby?" Not often, but I know it is sometimes said. Nevertheless, I do not believe that is the norm. If anything, it is the parents who say, "Wow, we are so lucky to have this healthy baby." And I guess that's true...you do feel lucky as a parent to have healthy children. But what if they're not healthy? Just something to ponder a bit...
I have decided to scan two pictures of my daughter when she was a preemie in the hospital back in June of 2001. I know it's hard to look at. Yes, she did survive, and no one said, "Wow, she's lucky to be here," because that would have been really a rude comment. And that is how we feel about Tyson. He isn't lucky, we are because he is one awesome boy! And if you know our daughter, she has one of the biggest hearts of any human being I have ever met in my life. She teaches me more about giving to others everyday.
Neither of my children chose to enter the world in the circumstances which they did. But here we are, one crazy family...and I'm feeling pretty lucky that we all have each other!
St. Patrick's Day is coming up--I was reminded by the Shamrock milkshakes advertised at McDonalds "OH-NOs" as Ty calls it. This got me thinking about luck. I want to write about something that comes straight from my heart regarding luck.
We are told once a week, "Wow, he is one lucky boy," or something along those lines. I always smile and say, "No, we are the ones who are lucky!" and give Tyson a hug and a kiss. I don't say and do this to make others feel bad, but to send the message that Tyson is a gift and blessing to us, and it is NOT the other way around.
Tyson did not choose to not be raised by his biological parents. We praise God everyday his parents chose his life. But, he did not choose to be adopted. He was born under circumstances that we will never fully understand, as hard as we might try. As he gets older, we will deal with his insecurities and questions. We are prepared the best that one can possibly be prepared I guess.
God blessed us with the opportunity to become Tyson's parents. That is how we truly feel. It isn't about luck...it was about putting our faith in God that this little boy that we only knew on paper would be joining our family. There was a discussion on RQ awhile back about "meant to be" and it really got me thinking. Was Tyson "meant to be" in our family? I haven't quite resolved that one in my head yet. What I do know is that somehow our lives became connected, meant to be or not.
When a baby is born, do people say to the parents, "Wow, this is one lucky baby?" Not often, but I know it is sometimes said. Nevertheless, I do not believe that is the norm. If anything, it is the parents who say, "Wow, we are so lucky to have this healthy baby." And I guess that's true...you do feel lucky as a parent to have healthy children. But what if they're not healthy? Just something to ponder a bit...
I have decided to scan two pictures of my daughter when she was a preemie in the hospital back in June of 2001. I know it's hard to look at. Yes, she did survive, and no one said, "Wow, she's lucky to be here," because that would have been really a rude comment. And that is how we feel about Tyson. He isn't lucky, we are because he is one awesome boy! And if you know our daughter, she has one of the biggest hearts of any human being I have ever met in my life. She teaches me more about giving to others everyday.
Neither of my children chose to enter the world in the circumstances which they did. But here we are, one crazy family...and I'm feeling pretty lucky that we all have each other!
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