Special Needs...a relative term

In college I learned about China adoption and always felt called to adopt from China. So when we truly started the process in March 2008, it was for a nsn child, most likely a girl. I knew nothing, zero, zilch, nada, about the special needs program. When we started the Hague classes and learned about some of the common special needs, we said, "Well, we could do that!" and immediately switched gears. Education was the key to our decision, and it was not a decision we took lightly.

There is a lot of discussion right now on people switching to the sn program and whether or not they are ready for a child with special needs. Some believe if you aren't ready for any/all needs, then you shouldn't adopt a child through the special needs program. Well if that was the case, I shouldn't have adopted Tyson.


People say, "I could never adopt a child with special needs." I always say, "But he's just like any other little boy! He plays in the water, he loves cars, he runs and jumps....he's just like any other kid. Except that he heard Chinese his first two years and English in the last year, and his mouth was completely reconstructed in December and he's had to learn to speak in a whole new way, and we go to speech therapy once a week, and he's had two sets of ear tubes so now he can actually hear the words we use. Oh, and the fact he had gross motor delays but has caught up now, as well as gaining 14 pounds in 10 months. And he still has more surgeries to come, as well as major orthodontics. And at times he gets stared at due to his little cleft lip mark...Other than that, he doesn't have any special needs at all."

And that's when I realize...he is NOT like any other little boy. Tyson has special needs to many people, but to us, he's just Tyson, a remarkable little man who has defied the odds to not only survive abandonment and life in an orphanage, living for two years underweight, no mommy or daddy to love on him... yeah, he does have special needs. Needs that have just become part of our lives now.

Whatever his special needs are, we work through them. I know he has attachment issues, so we intentionally work on it. We enunciate our words more clearly than before. Our lives have been turned upside down for sure. I can truly say, I was prepared for his special need of cleft lip/palate, which has been a non-issue for us. And for those who say they couldn't do it, I say that if your child has a special need, not only CAN you do it, you WOULD do it!

I find myself struggling with the fact that I did miss his first two years. He's growing and changing right before my eyes. Look at this big boy now.

And there is nothing I wouldn't do for him. I took a chance on a little boy with special needs...which to us aren't that special at all.