Remembering last summer and other Tyson updates

Well, my Kacie is off at camp for the week, so it's just Ty and I for a few days while Dan is at work.

When I was pregnant with Kacie, I was mostly afraid of the pain of child birth. Most people told me, "You won't remember it, it's so worth it!" Well, the last part is true, but I have to beg to differ with the first part. It was nine years ago, and I remember it vividly. I vowed, I never wanted to be pregnant again. Well, then I changed my mind (not that I wanted to be pregnant but just the decision that yes, I'd do it again), but I couldn't have any more children biologically, and that part of the story has turned out just fine.

So when we started the adoption process, I didn't think the pain of it could be possibly as bad as the physical pain of my pregnancy. Wrong. Even my good friends say that after watching what I went through that they would take a pregnancy any day over the agonizing wait I endured for Tyson and the mountains of paperwork beauracracy.

When we started the process and locked Ty's file in September 08, we hoped for an April departure, which quickly turned in to May...then June...then July. OK, July, I could deal with that. When we got our LOA, we had hoped for a July 8th travel date...then July 15th...July 22, and then we watched the possibility of July 29th pass us by. I went into a cold, dark place that I didn't know existed. I still remember that pain, that depression of sitting on the couch every day, checking various internet sites and wondering, "Where is MY TA? God, is my son not important to you?" Yep, I questioned God, over and over. If it wasn't for the strength of my church family, I'm not sure how I would have made it.

This was the face we saw in Sept. 08, taken in about May of 08. It was one of 4 pictures I had in the referral paperwork.


In June of 2009, I finally got a picture of him on his second birthday. This photo actually scared me. I thought maybe he couldn't clap his own hands. The funny thing about that is that I worried even after we met him because he didn't clap his hands. But on our second night home, while we were all trying to sleep, he decided to party and clapped his hands in our bed! No more worrying on that one!


And here he is last week, one year ago from the worst July of my life.


I can't say it's the best July of my life because of my dad's health, but other than that, it's been fun being home with my little man! I look at him, and I know why I felt that pain. I still harbor a lot of resentment over those lost months with Tyson, and I pray I can get over it. I think these next few months are going to be emotional. I didn't experience a lot of emotion with Ty's birthday, other than that it was the first birthday with him. But I think coming up on a year of being a forever family is going to be a little different.

In other Tyson news...

Today we went to a park that two months ago Tyson couldn't play on. It was a bit too big, there was a wavy bridge he couldn't cross, and he refused to go down the slides. Today we tried it again. He had a new-found confidence, and he conquered the bridge and slides! Totally amazing.

His speech is still coming along, but he puts consonant sounds in all the wrong places. He says "pomb" for "comb"; but then he says "ig" for "pig". Go figure. There are many more examples. But he's speaking better every week. We still continue weekly speech therapy.

Discipline is going well. He is understanding "first you do this...then this will happen". I can take away toys, and he responds with the correct behavior. I can count 1...2... and usually he changes his behavior before I get to three. All of these show that he is capable of behavior modification and understanding consequences, which is huge for me because 2 months ago, I was still dealing with a very angry kid. We're not out of the woods, but at least we're on the trail!

Attachment is going better. He enjoys being rocked like a baby now, and we do it daily. It's all about re-creating that bonding cycle and filling the gaps he missed as a baby. He is making good eye contact, and I just feel very positive with the direction we are going.

Potty training is coming along, which is also a huge improvement from not moving forward at all. I am hoping he'll be close to fully trained before I go back to school.

Funny story! Today while I was out of the room, he took a ketchup bottle, squirted half of the bottle on the kitchen floor, and was eating it with a spoon while the pugs helped him. Had I not been in such shock, I would have grabbed the camera. Oh how I wish I would have!


Enjoy the week!
Jolene