Wow my last post was an intense mouthful. It was amazing how much better I felt just finally getting those thoughts not only "out there" but just to hear other say they are going through the same thing. It also is so nice to remember that God is on my side and wants to guide me through this process. He wants to be there for me, I just have to remember to pray and ask for His help.
Now that I've had a few days to process all of this, I have come to terms with a few things. First, Ty is attaching to me. It's not what I want it to be or hoped it would be by this point, but it's OK. In fact, for an adopted child like Tyson, it's pretty normal. I've always despised that word, but really, Tyson needs to go through the same stages other children go through, just in his own time. Our family really is only 1 year 3 months old. It's an interesting concept, that of "family age".
I just ordered three books and will be reading them over the next month. I am shocked that I didn't have this first book. It's Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child by Patty Cogen. The second one is The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis and David Cross. The last one is Potty Training Boys. I think the the potty training one will be a quick read.
As I read these books and hope to figure out some of Ty's behaviors and how I can help, I will continue to post on here. If anyone has read these books and wants to tell me if I'm wasting my time, let me know too!
Thank you so much for all the comments and email support! I really appreciate it. It's so nice to hear from those who know what I'm going through. I truly don't believe Ty has PTSD, RAD, or any other disorder. But I do believe we are going through a tough time, a critical time, in his development. As I connect with other moms who know where I'm coming from, it makes me realize that I'm NOT crazy and we WILL get through this! I believe God brings people together for good. THANK YOU, a million times, to all who are helping me through this!
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Well, we haven't completed our adoption yet (or even know who the child will be) I thought the Connected Child was great! I have also heard really good things about Cogen's book.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your journey. I know it will benefit our child when we finally get there.
you are in our prayers! As a fellow adoptive mom- I get it! Parenting your adopted child is so different from parenting your bio child. I would recommend both books you listed- we read both as part of our agency training. thanks for sharing- it does no one any good- if we make it sound like adoption is a walk in the park and wonderful all the time. those in process need to be prepared for the hard times and those of us living it need to know we are not alone.
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