Maybe I just haven't noticed it... but yesterday it was blatently obvious.
It was the first day of summer vacation, and I had a million errands to run. My kids were great, and I promised them a quick trip to the park. We have a new park in town. Unfortunatley, we have one elementary school on an alternative program, and it must have been the first grade's picnic at the park because the park was packed!
I took Ty over to a little slide area, and Kacie joined the masses on the bigger stuff. I noticed a few little boys pointing to Tyson and then pointing to the area between their lip and nose, and then making a vertical motion. Tyson walked up the stairs, and these boys just stared. For the first time, I didn't mind when Ty yelled, "NO! OP IT NOW!" So I walked over to the kids and I asked if they had a question about his lip. They truly were sweet kids, age 7 after I asked them and from the local school. One thing to also know is that this school has a very high poverty rate, so these boys probably didn't even know they shouldn't stare. So I told them about Ty's cleft lip and palate, and they were just soaking it up. I just love children this age. If you tell them what they need to know, they are very understanding.
So then when I told them that he was from China and spoke Chinese and was learning English, they were very interested. They spoke English and Spanish, so then they even had more empathy for him. I could see it in their eyes as their confused stares became looks for fascination.
Then of course, a little girl came and scolded them all for talking to a stranger, and rightfully so! But then she told me that we needed to go have a chat! Ummmm... yeah-no! I think the teachers from the local school probably recognized me as OK.
It was just an interesting trip to the park.
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That was such a good way to handle the situation. If you had made an angry remark to them or something like that, it might have encouraged them to do more than just point and stare in the future. It must be your teacher-ness coming out. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your response to this situation. From some of the comments I have read especially on Rumor Queen, some adoptive parents just get easily offended instead to trying to understand that yes, our children do look different and maybe that extra time chatting with someone about our children and their differences may someday result in them being open to adopt from China or adopt a SN child.
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