I will love him

Grocery stores have become my worst enemy, when Tyson has to come. He goes crazy, running the aisles, yelling (yes, he's still loud), demanding, and just embarrassing. I leave feeling like "THAT MOM" that everyone stares at in the store.

"Wow, why can't she control her kid?" are the words I hear through the stares and sighs...some people show some compassion in their faces, and for that I am appreciative.

Never again will I judge a parent whose kid is flipping out at the store. Yes, there are those out there who are a mess and shouldn't have kids and don't parent the way they should. I'm not even going to say I'm perfect, and in my last post, I wanted to be a perfect parent. But two Sundays ago I got a word from God through my friend Joshua, who is now a pastor on the East Coast but was home visiting. He reminded me that God doesn't want us to be perfect! OK, phew, good...because we know I am not!

Then I realized, those stares, those expressions...all from Satan trying to bring me down. And do you know what Satan is really good at? Kicking you while you are down. He will kick and punch...anything to keep you away from serving God.

And that's when I realized it. Through Joshua's sermon, I realized the God wants me to SHOW that I love Tyson they way He loves me. I LOVE Tyson, no one will ever dispute that. He's funny, witty, cuddly, outgoing, and he's MY SON! But we as parents know that we have our moments, and my "moments" seem to be when we are in public.

"Spank him! That'll change his behavior!" No it doesn't.

"Don't give in!" I don't, and neither does he. I've never met a more stubborn person than me, other than Tyson.

"You let him get away with too much!" No, I don't. You'd be amazed at the behaviors I have extinguished.

"He'll grow out of it. My kid did. All kids do that." Really? Because ALL kids have a brain like Tysons? All kids have had early traumatizing experiences that I deal with EVERY SINGLE DAY?

So after hearing these comments day in and day out, I had just grown weary. Tired of the battle. Tired of trying to live up to everyone's expectations of what I SHOULD be doing. After not hearing God for quite awhile, He gave me a word: "Show your love to your son as I show my love to you. Be an example of LOVE."

Whoa! Could that work? Could it really work? It's a strategy I hadn't tried! Rather than being that frazzled mom between work and home who is just trying to get her tired and cranky kids through the grocery store without her head blowing off, I could let it go and just love him.

So, I tried it. It was just he and I (which is always easier than having both kids...you'd think an 11 year old girl and 5 year old boy wouldn't fight much...you'd be WRONG!) I relaxed. When he ran off (in sight of course...out of sight does take it to another level), I just waited for him to come back and then I hugged him and talked with him. When he got loud, I gave him a kiss and told him I loved him and he needed to find and use his inside voice. And when he walked up to a stranger (OK, more than one) and said, "Are you a stranger? Are you going to hurt me?" I just shook my head, smiled at the poor confused soul who Tyson had targeted in that aisle, apologized and moved on.

I came out of the store much calmer. Was he perfect? No way! Did people stare? YES! Did I show how much I love my son instead of trying to react the way everyone wants me to? YES! And for that, I felt successful.

What concept...show your love for others just as Christ loves you...it's amazing how that really gives you a sense of peace.

For those of you who know us, you know I'll have my moments, but hopefully I can embrace this new approach and it will have some results. And if it doesn't, I'm still obeying God's word and not allowing Satan to attack me, and that is a good thing too.